Didier Blogba is back. In a nutshell the last month has witnessed Manchester United gain a stranglehold on the Premiership, Arsenal trying their damndest to finish empty-handed again, Chelsea maintaining their unfathomable woeful post-October form, Spurs falling off the wagon and an exciting and vastly open relegation tussle.
So apparently Wayne Rooney shouted something obscene directly into a camera, which is the reason I have had to put up with his ugly mug on Sky Sports News on repeat, daily. This will teach me to watch SSN on repeat, daily. This topic has gained some serious coverage so I will attempt to summarise briefly. When you approach a camera as a professional footballer and swear directly at it, addressing the adoring public, I don’t care how thick you are, how pissed off you are that you have scored a match-winning hat-trick (humph), how many GSCE’s you haven’t got, how many tyres you’ve stolen, you know that is not kosher. Considering the antagonising manner in which he did it and on the back of escaping punishment for planting an elbow directly into James McCarthy’s chops, the 2 match punishment appears fair. Holding his club to ransom, whores and erratic (but currently majestic) form; it’s certainly been one crazy season for the boy Rooney, who will now miss the all-important FA Cup semi-final with their Manc neighbours Citeh. Done.
For those of you so starved of news other than ‘Sweargate’ I have the following gems for y’all, starting with the news that Jose Mourinho has lost his first home league game in 9 years. And their conquerors....oh yes, you've guessed it, Sporting Gijon. JM has been overheard claiming ‘in these 9 years, in which Jose Mourinho, I, me, The Special One, has been truly incredible, I have managed with great success in the top leagues in Portugal, England and Italy. The truth behind my extensive travelling between these leagues is not predominantly down to my ambition and undoubted talent, but the avoidance of facing Sporting Gijon. The one issue with taking the Real job was the prospect of facing Sporting Gijon, however I never shirk from a challenge, no matter how imposing. I told the lads to give everything, and then some, but naturally Gijon prevailed. God damn you Sporting Gijon!’
With the Premiership looking done and dusted (and I know if Arsenal win their game in hand and beat United they will be 1 point behind them, but, hmmm……) attention turns to the bottom half of the table:
Source: BBC Sport
Usually one team is gone by this stage. 7 teams can be considered as relegation candidates – Aston Villa in 14th to Wigan in 20th. Detailed below is the run-in's for those threatened clubs beautifully displayed in their respective colours (my creative side):
| ASTON VILLA | BLACKBURN | BRUM | BLACKPOOL | WEST HAM | WOLVES | WIGAN |
| West Ham (a) | Everton (a) | Sunderland (h) | Wigan (h) | Aston Villa (h) | Fulham (h) | Blackpool (a) |
| Stoke (h) | Man City (h) | Chelsea (a) | Newcastle (h) | Chelsea (a) | Stoke (a) | Sunderland (a) |
| West Brom (a) | Bolton (h) | Liverpool (a) | Stoke (h) | Man City (a) | Brum (a) | Everton (h) |
| Wigan (h) | West Ham (a) | Wolves (h) | Spurs (a) | Blackburn (h) | West Brom (h) | Aston Villa (a) |
| Arsenal (a) | Man Utd (h) | Newcastle (a) | Bolton (h) | Wigan (a) | Sunderland (a) | West Ham (h) |
| Liverpool (h) | Wolves (a) | Fulham (h) | Manchester United (a) | Sunderland (h) | Blackburn (h) | Stoke (a) |
| Spurs (a) |
Sunderland (P8 W0 D1 L7) on current form could well be considered, especially if they lose their forthcoming trip to St Andrews. In other weekend ‘6 pointers’ Wigan visit Blackpool whilst West Ham host Villa. A quick scan at their respective run-ins points towards trouble for West Ham and Blackburn, who have a potential winner-takes-all trip to Molineux on the final day. Blackpool are more leaky than Henry’s bucket, an issue they have failed to address, however do have 4 home games left. Wigan face only one top half team, Everton, and looking at the form of the teams above them may be confident of surprising everyone. Unfortunately for them 4 of these games are away from home. It will certainly be an exciting weekend and everything will become that little clearer come Monday.
The PFA Player of the year shortlist has been announced with Gareth Bale (2/7) leading the betting ahead of Nemanja Vidic (9/2), Scott Parker (10/1), Carlos Tevez (11/1), Samir Nasri (12/1), Charlie Adam (20/1) and Rafael van der Vaart (25/1). Maybe I am being as naïve as I am stubborn but I struggle to understand how Bale is the overwhelming favourite. Exploits in Milan should not influence the vote. This highlights what an underwhelming season the Premiership has been with the top nominee scoring only 7 goals and contributing 1 assist. For me Adam and Vidic are the outstanding candidates. In terms of Premier League Fantasy Football points earned Tevez leads the contenders, followed by Adam. Bale has the least. That’s concrete proof if ever I saw it! Anyhow, it is voted for by the players themselves so you cannot argue with the result come awards night.
Fergie is really ramping it up at the moment, the Terminator out to upset anyone who dares cross him or his squad of talented, mouthy gits. Unwilling to condemn the numerous acts of his terror Rooney, in a splendid act of defiance he is now taking on the police. Wolverhampton-based Superintendant Mark Payne ruffled Sir Alex’s feathers by claiming in a police blog that Rooney could have been arrested if such an act (sweargate) happened on the streets. Fergie felt the need to reply, claiming that Payne is "a wee guy, sitting down in the Midlands, probably never been recognised in his life" who had "managed to elevate himself to whatever it is in the police force". How nice. Before you start to wonder how Fergie can belittle a senior policeman like this remember that although Payne is a Superintendant, Alex is a Sir, and that equates to like way more authority. Then he claimed that referee Lee Mason was pressurised into the whole Rooney saga that resulted in his 2 game ban. I think Wayne did the damage himself there Sir. And then his smug interview following the Chelsea game, when asked about the rather blatant penalty, ‘’to be honest it looked like he made the most of it....it was a break and it’s the first we’ve had in 7 years here’’, delivered with a disgusting wry smile. Yuck.
The big games come thick and fast at what is now, officially, ‘the business end’ of the season. The Champions League and Europa League quarters finals act as the midweek filler in the domestic weekend sandwich. In the last week we have witnessed 8 ties in both the Champions League and Europa League with an abnormal quantity of goals. Assuming you footy nuts know the Champions League results I have detailed for you last Thursday’s Europa League results:
Porto 5 1 Spartak Moscow
Benfica 4 1 PSV
Villareal 5 1 Twente
Dynamo Kiev 1 1 Braga
I have immersed myself more in European football and this season I have swept my Europa league reservations under the carpet, converting from cynic to enthusiast. Despite the obvious amusement of giving your Liverpool chums grief about the embarrassment of appearing on Channel 5 at 8pm on a Thursday night drawing to a team of Hungarian builders, I have witnessed some splendid football and interesting ties in my Europa experiences (since the turn of the year I hasten to add). Three Portugese teams make up the 8 quarter finalists, with Benfica and Porto appearing as good as through whilst Braga attained a positive result against a decent Kiev team and will be confident of advancing.
It will be interesting if Benfica meet Porto in the final, at Dublin’s new Aviva Stadium, considering last week’s events between the two teams. Porto’s domestic results this season read, before last weekend’s visit to fierce rivals Benfica, P24 W22 D2 L0, a whopping 16 points clear of second. They proceeded to defeat the Red Devils 2-1 confirming the league title. Following the final whistle the Porto players and staff were deservedly enjoying this historic moment with their fans, when all stadium lights were switched off and they were left in complete darkness. Talk about bad losers! I can picture the Benfica Chairman and Manager standing by the stadiums ‘Mother Switch’ sniggering away. Something for the Aviva Stadium authorities to consider. With the semi-final draw already having been made, Porto vs Villareal, assuming they both progress from their favourable half time positions, will be a tie worth watching.
In my opinion the 4 Europa results combined with the midweek Champions League outcomes leaves only 1 tie in both competitions up for grabs, a Shevchenko-inspired Kiev vs Braga. Many may argue that the Chelsea vs Man Utd is not a dead rubber, however I beg to differ. If Chelsea score first then we have a cracking tie on our hands. For Chelsea to go through they will need star turns from a cluster of their players who are simply not in form. They could do with recalling Daniel Sturridge who appears sharper and in greater form than any other striker at the club. United have that ruthless, take-no-prisoners streak about them, a team that has not been at its best for large parts of the season but know exactly how to execute a game plan, soak up pressure and score that all important goal when needs be. I cannot see anything other than a Manchester United vs Schalke semi-final, the winners of which should meet either Real Madrid or Barcelona in the final. Stranger things have happened, and I am hoping for a stirring Inter comeback, 4-0 would do it. Enjoy the weeks football.
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