Well December is over. Coldest since records began! Whatever you preferred, 'The Cold Snap', 'The Big Freeze' or their collective name and my personal favourite: 'The Big Snap'. Three separate fronts arrived, all trying their damndest to disrupt the busiest football month of the year. All of this while the rest of Europe is chilling, in a completely different sense of the word, due to their respective mid-season breaks. I much prefer it our way.
Roll on January. The trio of matches over the Xmas period (from Boxing Day to New Years Day) saw Manchester City and Spurs collect maximum points and my hat/deerstalker goes off to them. Proof perhaps of how a squad with two decent players in each position is critical to maintain form at a congested period such as this. And to think Spurs have achieved their lofty position without a prolific striker; Pavlyuchenko, Crouchie, Defoe and Keane have contributed a mere 6 out of Spurs' 31 league goals (19%) to date. Tottenham are a best-priced 11/8 for a top-4 finish with Sky Bet and Extrabet.
Arsenal are just so Arsenal aren’t they. Oozing class but dropping points. They flew out of the traps in the game of the week (on paper) against City, hitting the post 3 times in the first half hour. However with City gradually putting more and more millionaires behind the ball with the proverbial bus parked, the Gooners failed to find a way through. With City displaying an astonishing lack of attacking intent, in which they failed to register a single shot on target, a 0-0 draw ensued. With Spurs and Chelsea both losing away, Fergie must have been feeling rather smug with Wednesday’s results following their 2-1 victory over Stoke.
The themes that have emerged from this week’s matches resemble that of a school sports day:
The Sack Race – Ancelotti, Hodgson, Houllier and Grant: who will be the first to go, who will survive, will all 4 go in a bloody gaffer massacre? I am typing this out furiously as it looks like Woy's sacking is imminent. They are 7-4 with Hills to all have their jobs when their respective clubs next LEAGUE fixtures kick off. The ‘Drab Four’ are 16/1 to ALL be sacked by this stage.
The themes that have emerged from this week’s matches resemble that of a school sports day:
The Sack Race – Ancelotti, Hodgson, Houllier and Grant: who will be the first to go, who will survive, will all 4 go in a bloody gaffer massacre? I am typing this out furiously as it looks like Woy's sacking is imminent. They are 7-4 with Hills to all have their jobs when their respective clubs next LEAGUE fixtures kick off. The ‘Drab Four’ are 16/1 to ALL be sacked by this stage.
The Three-Legged Race – if United win their game in hand they will stand 11 points clear of 4th-placed Spurs and 12 ahead of Chelsea. This for me makes the Premiership a 3-way tussle between United, City and Arsenal.
The Wheelbarrow Race – Rafael van der Vaart carrying the Spurs squad to new heights. Although Spurs fans may deny they are a one-man team, he is the most suitable candidate I could think of in terms of impact on a teams position. I must also mention the influence Rob Green at West Ham has on his teams position.
The Obstacle Race – Abramovich’s reluctance to dip into those deep pockets is seen by many as the stimulus for Chelsea’s plight. Spending £18 million on Ramires hasn’t helped.
The completion of Wednesday’s fixtures signalled the end of the busy festive schedule and we now look forward to the weekend F.A Cup fixtures, which will no doubt serve up numerous clichés, high drama and upsets. It will also afford us the 'pleasure' of enduring the predictable, humourless, nostalgia-dripping state-the-obvious-say-what-you-see style of the BBC team. Their A-Team comprises Mark Lawrenson, Mark Bright and John Motson. Our mute button no longer has it's symbol.
The first week of January not only signals the end of fixture madness but the commencement of transfer fever. If only a smidgen of the transfers dreamt up by the tabloids (in unison with numerous agents no doubt) actually came to fruition it would be worth all the hype. This is the month in which the journo’s really earn their corn. Sky Sports News have pulled out all the stops with their custom ‘January Transfer Window’ giant iPad contraption, bringing the latest in-running updates of potential movers. The presenters look incredibly uncomfortable multi-tasking conversing with its audience whilst attempting to operate the monster touch-screen provided to jazz up the 'drama' further. So far we have:
Ronaldinho to Blackburn Rovers – the Brazilian appeared both miffed and petrified in equal measure at the prospect of playing out his final years in the terraced-house capital of Britain. ‘Ok Ronnie, have you ever rugby tackled a goalkeeper’? ‘Ronald, El Hadj will be looking after you, showing off what this town steeped in industrial history has to offer’. Can’t see it myself.
David Beckham to 1 of 14 teams. Yes 14 teams!! Reasons so far for signing him revolve around his professionalism, his attitude and publicity potential. It appears what he will bring in terms of on-field prowess is low on the agenda. I assume he will be used much like that of a penalty corner taker in hockey, whipping in deadly last minute free-kicks.
Robbie Keane to numerous – Villa, West Ham and Blackburn are interested but it looks as if he will be heading to Birmingham. After posing as a mannequin in the Spurs shop window for the whole season, ‘Arry informs us ‘its up to Robbie at the end of the day’, the first time he hasn't been pimped out all season. Maybe because he is as good as gone. He's a character that Harry, cheeky-chappy, happy-go-lucky, little bit whooaa, little bit wheeyyy, wheeler dealer. Just don't tell him.
WARNING: X-RATED
WARNING: X-RATED
Ta ra.
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